The national awaits on tenterhooks... who has designed The Dress? What will her mother be wearing? Will she be upstaged by the bridesmaids? Never mind world crises, never mind political turmoil, this week end the eyes of the world will be on Megan Markle and her beau. What can we glean from the attire of royal women past and present? Jane and Beryl leaf through the records to find their favourites... 

 What Megan wears will be sold out in hours, we are told. That's as maybe, but Jane and Beryl think that her colour palette on formal occasions is somewhat subdued for a Royal: do we really want to stand in the rain for three hours to see her in a black coat? 
Let's face it, even those with 20:20 vision will have a hard job picking her out in a crowd of bodyguards. More red dresses, Jane and Beryl cry! More hats! More bright bags! They know that she can do it, because on a very few occasions, she does! In the meantime, they have picked out one of her favourite casual outfits which we can all emulate and maybe look well... almost as cool: ripped jeans and mannish shirt.

Shirt Zara £25, jeans Tesco £22
Ok, so this is going to take a massive flight of imagination, folks: Jane, fifty something, flaxen curls, a good deal shorter, plays our favourite Royal bride...

Her Royal Highness The Queen has had some drop dead gorgeous frocks in her time, and Jane and Beryl particularly love those from the fifties, with their beautiful corseting effect and simplicity.

Dress vintage £25

Beryl takes advantage of the boning and other constructive devices in this vintage frock to really emphasise her waist. If you can get into a bit of vintage - often the sizes are super small - then do, they have such great transformative powers!

Jane feels that it is time to out Beryl: Beryl has had a schoolgirl pash on this royal for as long as they have known each other (over 20 years) and is more than a bit in love with HRH The Princess Margaret. In fact, it was she who inspired this whole idea so desperate was Beryl to strut her stuff as the naughty-haughty younger sister. Chic, stylish and ever full of fun, there is no doubt that she was the style icon of her time.

Hat, vintage dress Emily and Fin £85 shoes Karen Millen £30 (sale)
bag Laura Ashley £59, scarf vintage Droopy and Brown
These fit and flare dresses (polka dots are so this season) are Beryl's favourite shape, giving her a defined waist and of perfect proportions for her petite frame. But they are also ideal for any WOACA who is callipagious. Callipagious? Jane and Beryl hear you cry. Yes this glorious word was made up to describe Marilyn Monroe, and is taken to mean being round of bottom and thigh. This hides them so beautifully that no-one will ever guess...

Her Royal Highness The Princess Royal and 'sartorial elegance' are not terms generally seen in the same sentence, but what she does best is country casual, because she is most at home in easy breezy separates. Top tip for all WOACAs: be like Princess Anne: comfortable in your clothes! 

Fisherman's hat, £11.50, scarf charity shop £1, top,
Nobody jeans £40 (sale), plimsolls Converse All Star £60

Jane in a stripy top and upstaged by a dog - the things she does for this blog. She last played Princess Anne in a school spoof in 1978 (some things never change), and thinks that perhaps she pulled it off better then in maxi skirt and high hair-do...?

Elizabeth Bowes Lyon, as the Queen Mum was before she became part of the Royal Family, was a snappy dresser throughout her life. Jane loves this shot in the early twenties - the ribbons, the bows, the bags, the hats! -  and secretly wishes she could dress like this every day of the week.

Mostly vintage and homemade
Jane wore something very similar to this get up when she went on the Orient Express and felt a million dollars. Maybe not for the school run, but huge fun (and why not) when the opportunity presents itself. The kimono style and summer velvet is right on trend this year.

Dress Goat (sale) £120, shoes Jasper Conran £59
 straw bag Banana Republic £45 

 Jane has made Beryl dress as the young, gorgeous and sylph-like Duchess of Cambridge, one of the most beautiful and feted women in the world. So, considering Beryl's age, body mass index, and lack of stature, this hasn't turned out that badly really. Advancing years in Jane and Beryl's opinion make a longer length a more elegant option, but the paired down, colour pop, straight dress, still works its grown up magic. The court shoe, beloved of the Middleton family were named so because they were acceptable wear if one attended court, the Royal Court that is rather than the dock of the Old Bailey. Beryl loves a pointy-toed stiletto, in which many a WOACA has stamped her authority.     

Next week: 101 weeks of Jane and Beryl - what have they learned?

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