100 Happy Days
Monday 21 May 2018
Celebrations and jubilations! Jane and Beryl have reached their 100th post. Here is a gallop through what they can only describe as 100 happy days...
And what have our fashionistas learnt?
Number One:
Does my bum look big in this?
Only one way to find out, photograph your clothes before you buy them. Your little camera on your phone is your new shopping BF. If you are browsing alone, ask the shop assistant, to take a snap front and back, they are often young and therefore very phone-centric and do not find this in the slightest bit weird. This will give you lots of information on fit, proportion and hang.
Number Two:
There is no age limit to glamour
Beryl was once on the same flight as Joan Collins from LAX-Heathrow, although sadly not in the same part of the air-craft... humm. The passengers and air-crew were all very excited by this. Beryl later bumped into the then 80 year old in the baggage hall, wearing her trade-make large sunnies and Gucci loafers, still every inch the glamorous woman despite a long journey.
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Number Three:
Cross-dressing is cool
While Jane and Beryl would never advocate dishonesty, they do believe in theft: steal away any ideas from any man's wardrobe you can get your hand on. Jane and Beryl are not meaning his old jeans and a rugby shirt, but rather blazers, cricket sweaters, Oxford bags, brogues, ties, white shirts, overcoats...
Number Four: Embrace pattern
Pattern has a place in even the most paired back of wardrobes, it adds interest and personality. Jane and Beryl are not suggesting that pattern-shirkers jump immediately to the floral jumpsuit, but a ditsy floral blouse is a good start.
Number Five:
Get some colour in your life, and that's an order!
Beryl is getting bossy again! And we all know what that means: we had better do as we are told immediately.
'Beryl says grey and beige
do you no favours as you age.
Colour is the tonic
to keep your relationships
non-platonic'
Number six:
Wear something youthful
Jane and Beryl honestly and truly enjoy being in the middle portion of their lives, and see nothing wrong with being a nicely dressed woman in her fifties. However they are of course sneakily pleased if a someone takes them for a little younger. Jane thinks that Beryl has pulled of a slightly younger look in this photo, which is probably down to wearing sunglasses that hide her crows-feet, and big hoop earrings. Adopting a trend that is youth-inspired, such as the out-size ear jewel, can have a surprisingly rejuvenating effect.
Number Seven:
Proportion, proportion, proportion
Jane and Beryl have discovered that if the scale of their clothes is spot on, they can spend less time thinking about dieting. This is the most marvellous and cunning thing about clothes; the right ones do a lot of gym work for you. This Kate spade dress, and nipped in waisted jacket are the perfect proportions for Mrs Pepperpot.
Number Eight:
Find your waist fake or otherwise
In order not to look like a blob, some semblance of a waist must be located, whether it is just below your bosom or lurking above your hip. A waist is a wonderfully moveable feast. If your thinnest part is just south of your knockers then an empire line is a great ruse. Beryl who is very short in the waist often drops hers by an inch, just to create the illusion of less knockeridge. Jane looks for detail to draw attention to where she would like to have a waist (red band on Jane's jacket, above).
'Dare to be different,' Jane's grandma always counselled, and sometimes it must be confessed that Jane takes this a bit far. However, the point is that Jane and Beryl do counsel confidence! By the time the WOACA hits fifty-something, she knows her own mind and must follow her very own style path.
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