Thursday 7 July 2016

From Tesco To Tresco

                        Beryl and Jane explore the supermarket's potential for summer purchases.

Tesco, the store we love to hate. Who'd've thought that Jane and Beryl would find some wearable combos for their summer away, in the high street supermarket behemoth, which let's face it, is not their natural hunting ground. They approached it with heavy hearts, especially Beryl who wanted no truck with it whatsoever. Jane had to be extra bossy to convince her... 

The results speak for themselves to an extent... There was much that was colourful, much that was polyester, and much that did not strike a chord with our fashionistas... and yet... Jane came home with a necklace and there were other items she may have bought had she not already had those options already covered (see the star buy white jacket below). Beryl came home with a two pack of camis, to subdue her back fat! 

In the event of a Zombie apocalypse Beryl's reserve stores of back fat, may come into their own, but until that time, they generally make T-shirt wearing a little sub-optimal. That given, this bright orange asymmetrical T, £6, is not at all bad. The scoop neck reduces her jumper-lumpas and the longer-length hides her tummy. The colour is fab, but as Beryl's wardrobe has been well and truly tangoed this year, she is resisting further Jaffa invaders. 
Bag £10 and scarf £7. 

Jane is clearly regressing back to 1978 when she was in her prime (ha!) and went to see Saturday Night Fever three times that summer. But she does love a white suit and it is a look which is great on a WOACA. Jane and Beryl feel that the all-white scenario should not be shied away from, in fact should be embraced for the warmer months. This is not, in fact, a suit but a jacket and trouser combo, all for £25 (jacket) and £14 (trews). The lacy top came in at £16.

Beryl is slightly baffled by the cut out jumper £14. She likes shoulder perforations in T-Shirts and dresses, as they expose a non-wrinkly body part, that at a push could still be considered sexy. However, why would you put a hole in a garment specifically designed for warmth, other than a balaclava?  There is also the thorny problem of sweater wearing generally in the over 50's. Beryl likes to wear something that she can fling off in a varying temperature crisis, if you cast this aside you are left wearing your bra, not a good look in public Jane and Beryl feel. The skirt at £16, however is genuinely nice, expensive looking, great material and tiered; in the 1970's this was known as a gypsy skirt. This is a great bit of summer kit, for anyone who likes to hide their pins, no-one will ever suspect that you and shorts are no longer an item.  

Jane goes to Glastonbury (if only). But this little top would do the job a treat, Jane and Beryl felt that the shape was particularly flattering along with the waist-hugging V stripe. The top is £7 and the mad hat £10.

This photograph has been taken at a slightly odd angle. This is because Jane and Beryl are being stalked by a very suspicious shop assistant, who clearly thinks that they are up to no good. She is of course right, but probably not in ways that she can imagine. This is not helped by the fact that Jane's stage whispers are actually very loud! This dress (£22) could multi-task a treat, particularly if you only wanted to take hand luggage. It could sightsee, beach and prop up the bar, all with a change of accessories. 

Jane is particularly over-excited about this outfit as it was all for £50 and yet looks ridiculously classy! The jacket is as above for £25, the top was in the sale at £7 and the trousers which are a particularly lovely shape are also in the sale at £12. Rocking the snake-hips here! Beryl was being sniffy about the zippy until it was actually on Jane's body as she has a wild aversion to them on the WOACA, which Jane agrees with as they can look rather hard-edged. However, just the one strategically placed seems to work here. 

This was Beryl's personal favourite, but at this store is only available in a size 8, a size that Beryl is not. Thus Beryl's breasts may be Brexitting this garment at any moment. This aside, the jacket produces a certain confusion in our pint-sized shopper. In theory Beryl thinks that cut, quality and tailoring are all components of a good and therefore expensive jacket, which supermarket clothes could not hope to emulate due to price constraints. However, Tesco has managed to produce a very nice jacket for a bargain £12 in their sale and perfectly match the stripes across the front. Humm.....Beryl's buffering.

Hmm, Jane tries to squeeze herself into the corner, as the suspicious shop assistant hovers... without success and Beryl has to resort to two for the price of one. Jane has the same lacy top, but teamed here with another version of the tiered ditsy skirt Beryl has on above, and a rather charming Fortuny pleated wrap (£7). As it is diaphanous, it is a more up to date take on the well-worn pashmina option.

Tesco has to be commended for their fabrics, which knock the socks off Jane and Beryl's other supermarket sweeps. Ok this stuff isn't exactly exciting, but there are small purchases that could give a girl's pre-holiday wardrobe a boost, for small prices. This blouse is £10, for example. The trick Jane and Beryl think to supermarket shopping is, to pair budget buys with more expensive items from other sources. In other words apply sparingly for the best effect. Beach bag £12. 

Jane is always attracted to a bit of antique-effect lace and the added attraction of a cut-out shoulder, how could she resist? All for £16. This is undoubtedly a pretty top, but the see-though issue rears its ugly head. Jane ran out of the changing room to find a vest, and sure enough, there was the perfect thing in a pack of two for £6, (stretchy, secure, and nude - how attractive) which Beryl subsequently bought. Jane resisted a purchase, however, as she has soon many similar items in her wardrobe. She did buy the necklace, which is in a rose gold effect, for £8.