The Happy Wedding Guest
Saturday 9 April 2022 |
Blazer £40 sale Zara, top Monsoon £3 charity shop, skirt Anthropologie £120 boots Zara £49, boater borrowed from Jane. |
When it comes to weddings, Jane and Beryl are fed up with standing around in draughty tents wearing not enough clothes and a pair of too high heels. Sounds a bit kinky written down, but you know what they mean! They long for the comfort of their own true style, and shoes that do not create divots or blisters. The scrutiny of family and friends tends to send the WOACA (woman of certain age)
into a whirlwind of self doubt. Comments like Auntie Binty's hat is a fright," or " What the hell does Cousin Jane think she looks like" haunt Jane and Beryl's dreams.
 |
Suit Kalico £160, LK Bennett sample shoes £40, second hand top £25, vintage hat £* |
Heavens to Betsey, Bezza, what are you wearing? This sort of ensemble seems to be the go to outfit for a WOACA, the moment a marriage celebration homes into view in the collective consciousness.
Worn to a christening at least eight years ago, it is now too tight, too formal and in Beryl's opinion dated and ageing. She is conscious of her stomach, and requires at least three pairs of Spanx to quell the beast. As any woman who has ever mistakenly stumbled into shapewear knows, it is the death of a good time.
 |
Hat, Patricia Underwood, Ghost, £69, shoes, Anthropologie sale £70, bag, vintage |
When Jane was invited to her first wedding for some time, her instinct was to rush out and buy a new outfit. She trawled the internet, scoured the shops and eventually, bought a pricy frock from Anthropologie, which she isn't really sure about. So the full wedding shopping experience in other words.
It is very acceptable, but doesn't make her heart sing. Beryl reckons Jane's tits look droopy in this. Not to mention that she doesn't have the necessary accessories (like a decent brassiere, Beryl interjects crisply). Back in her wardrobe, this pink dress, in which she feels happy and relaxed, suddenly took on a new lease of life when Beryl tipped up with a jacket she had just bought from Zara. Jane ripped it off her friend's back and, despite it being a size too small, declared that she will wear it to forthcoming nuptials. Beryl knows better than to argue.
 |
Jane's vintage hat, Charity shop 1950s basket £10 |
In contrast to the cream debacle, Beryl is much happier in a very full-skirted version of the shirtdress she favours. She highly recommends wearing the shape of frock that you know suits you best and makes you feel wonderful.
You will skip to the venue and dance till dawn with all the bright young things.
 |
| Hat, Patricia Underwood, shirt, pre-loved Diane von Furstenburg, jacket, Hobbs, skirt, White Coco £89, boots, Jones the Bootmaker, £79 |
Jane has seemingly dived into winter mode in this outfit, but she is more than aware that nothing makes her grumpier than if she is cold all day. This fits the bill should the weather take a turn - which is more than likely as we all know - and the added bonus is that there is no need for an umbrella under this huge hat. Jane and Beryl recommend a secret stash of coat/scarf/pair of wellies/silk long johns squirrelled away in your boot.
 |
vintage hat (Jane's) Jacket, Zara £59, frock £108, espadrilles £85 both Boden |
 |
| Jacket, Zara, trousers, Ghost £99, shoes, Jigsaw £89, bag, fascinator, Foxwell and Moon |
 |
Phase Eight dress £20 Charity shop, Karen Millen sale shoes £30, Vintage hat £8, past season Dune handbag, all from Beryl's wardrobe. |
Our gals are well aware that two minutes after the invitation plops onto the welcome mat, a woman starts calculating the not insignificant cost of being a wedding guest. This might involve a hotel stay, travel, the present. Not to mention the wrestling of teenagers/students out of their Guns and Roses Tee-shirt, into something that will not offend their Granny.
By the time she considers her own outfit, the budget has shrunk to nigh invisible. Thank goodness for charity shops is all Beryl and Jane can say. This Phase Eight dress cost £20, and was clearly bought for a special occasion, probably worn once and then donated. Every year Phase Eight do a version of this dress, as clearly it sells, for around £145.
 |
| Hat, Foxwell and Moon, jacket, vintage, jumpsuit, pre-loved Somerset by Alice Temperley £8, shoes, Anthropologie £70 |
Jane is back in trews again but this time she has found herself a jumpsuit, in itself a marvel (as her dedicated followers will know). Not only that, but the majority of this outfit has come from the pre-loved department of her wardrobe. It must be said that there are vast reams of special occasion wear in a charity shop near you right now, most of it either completely unworn, or only once off the starting blocks.
 |
Dress DKNY, £45, TK Maxx, Hobbs shoes £108, Swindon outlet, Dune handbag £85 |
(this can happen as she seems to be on everyone's C list) she might dig out this crisp, spotty cotton DKNY dress from TK Maxx. She has borrowed a charming hat (made by Jane) and is sporting a delicious pair of Hobbs shoes from the outlet in Swindon. Looking at it now, she suddenly wants a cerise handbag and a pink hat. Jane's got nothing to do at the moment, she is sure that she could could whip one up by tea-time, if she only would pull her thumb out.
 |
| Hat, Foxwell and Moon, jacket, pre-loved Donna Karan, £25, dress, Libulela, £125 |
This is a dress which comes in the Very Much Loved department of Jane's wardrobe and was a star turn at her 50th birthday. Jane and Beryl are great believers in delving into dresses of yore and reusing them for all occasions, including weddings. Jane has updated it with an over-sized jacket.
If you are off to a wedding this year, have a wonderful fun time, and don't forget to go as yourself.
Post a Comment