Top, Ghost vintage, kimono, gift, trousers, Marella vintage

Jane is delighted - her big moment has come, it's Boho week! She has always secretly yearned to walk in the steps of Virginia Woolf and the Bloomsbury Set. Beryl is less than enthusiastic, as she has decided that she is too short for it. Nonsense, says Jane in her best Mary Poppins voice, anyone can wear Boho. And so it has proved to be. When Beryl went to her wardrobe, she was met with a veritable sea of Bohemian Chic...



Or not, woe betide Beryl, contradicting her 
bossy bestie, but our diminutive diva has reservations. The Scots have a marvellous word, 'bockle,' which means 'a medium sized boulder,' but is also applied unkindly to women whose kajools have become skin-tight.  Frills and loose fabric can add unwelcome poundage, and with no height to help... well, you get the picture.


And then, there's Beryl's first cousin Ernestina Lovelorn. Ernie is the embodiment of how not to do Bo-ho, she is more old style hippy then Bohemian chic. She owns clothes made out of actual patchwork, likes artisan padded jackets and looks as if she is wearing the whole of the Spirit of the Andes catalogue all at once. She has taken pattern clashing to dizzying heights, and is never without a spurious scarf. Ernie is never happier than when she has netted yet another hideous skirt or pair of trousers with elephants on from the charity shop. Ernestina, Jane and Beryl love you, but not your clobber. 


Dress, Ghost vintage, shirt, Anthropologie, last winter collection £120

Jane's looking a bit constipated here, and who knows? perhaps she is, but let's not go there... She has teamed a white dress with a somewhat unexpected velvet shirt worn as a 'shacket.' Well, you never know when the nights are going to get chilly.


Dress, Ghost, sale, £89, necklace, Monsoon sale £1.75
Jane will wear Boho EVERYWHERE given half a chance, so feels she must have something a bit more under control and fancy up her frilled sleeve for the odd Special Occasion. This Ghost sale dress has been a godsend for any such function (she has one in navy for funerals too).


Beryl and Jane both say kim-o-yes, rather than kim-o-no. They wear these over a sleek flowy dresses or wide white trousers. They are marvellous bits of camouflage if you dislike your arms on show, or wish to hide a little lock-down weight gain. 

Too Mapp and Lucia for you? 
Jane loves E.F. Benson's 1930's novels of warring snobbish denizens of a small Sussex town, but then she gets to be the tall elegant Lucia, while Beryl gets the short, dumpy Mapp... hum... 

Dress, Anthropologie vintage
Instant transportation to a Greek isle or any sunny clime at home or abroad this dress is Jane's go-to Bohemia: cost per wear, Jane must be down to about ten pence by now. She can just hear Byron quoting poetry and see Duncan Grant daubing her portrait... Ahh, a girl can dream. 

Dress TK Maxx £15
More nightmare than dream however is the misplaced frill on this frock.  This one firmly puts our Bezza in the pudding club, which would indeed be a miracle of modern science! The smock top which hangs off Beryl's tits is also a no-no.


Shalwar kameez, £70 local sale, necklace, South America, shoes, Jigsaw, £85 sale
One smallish good thing about no haircuts, is that Jane is cultivating just the wanton locks for the complete Boho look (that's just going too far, says Beryl). However, she digresses. This trouser and dress combo is incredibly comfortable and covers Jane's less than Boho stomach - let's face it, those poets were all starving, and that's something Jane certainly isn't. 






Whoops...




Previous season jumpsuit by Alice Temperley £99, Victoria pumps £37
Now Beryl's getting closer to something she can actually pull off. A jumpsuit is a good option if you are height challenged as the all in one thing, adds length. Less good in currently closed, public toilet situation. Hedge-hopping (as Beryl's mother called it) is quite tricky semi-naked in a field with a herd of bullocks.

Pre-loved Mint Velvet dress £40, Tory Burch flip flop $98 sale,
LK Bennett bag £25 sale 
Ok, this is more the ticket, even with a hint of VPL, or as Beryl likes to call it VKFL, visible knicker-fat line. Tie-dye is all the rage this summer, so if you have some in your wardrobe, now is the time to unleash it on an unsuspecting public. Empire line and not a frill or flounce in sight, gold jewellery, Tory Burch flip flops, and an LK Bennet raffia bag. This is more the posh bird does laid back summer look, that Beryl was hoping for.  

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