Jane and Beryl's cunning Christmas capsule wardrobe
Sunday 1 December 2019
Christmas preparations are being made in the village of Muddy Puddle. Beryl is sorting out recipes for her Boxing Day fork buffet, with smutty pass the parcel to follow, while wondering quite how Jane managed to remain undiscovered in the vestry for all those hours with the Vicar during the congregation's annual game of sardines.
Jane, who as we know is head girl material, is busily occupied organising a capsule wardrobe. These will hang together on a rail, and be mixed and matched to ensure that she is sartorially equipped for all invitations. This she knows will save time and last minute headless panics, particularly if she has located the right accessories. She has, of course, persuaded the hapless Beryl to do the same.
Beryl's capsule wardrobe contains:
1 x pink coat
2 x velvet trousers (pink and black)
1 x dress
1 x t-shirt
3 x shirts = 8 items
(Plus one sneaky sparkly skirt)
(Plus one sneaky sparkly skirt)
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| Coat Zara £129, blouse M&S £29, Shoes £195, matching bag (bought second hand £60) all this season, beads £15, black velvet trousers both past season M&S |
Pink coat + black velvet trousers + cream floppy sleeved shirt + pinky-red heels and matching bag + faux pearls = Christmas lunch with girlfriends
Jane has condemned Beryl to eight measly items of clothing, which frankly is tantamount to faithful side-kick abuse. Bet Penfold never had this kind of bother with Danger Mouse. As a result Bezza is having to make her pieces work really, really hard (well, that is rather the idea, says Jane) and this pink Zara coat must top everything, including her second hand Asos dress, which is not just pre-loved but currently loved. It is such a sweet relief when clothes just work.
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| Dress pre-loved Asos £38, boots £5 charity shop, gold bag (gift) Pink coat + dress + gold boots + handbag = Going to the theatre |
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| T-shirt Mint Velvet (this season) £45, Vintage velvet Ghost trousers £18, mules Anthropologie £98 (past season) |
Black star T-shirt + pink velvet trousers + flat mules + pinky-red bag = Christmas Eve in the pub
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| Mint Velvet T-shirt £45, (this season) skirt charity shop Zara $3.50, shoes LK Bennet sample sale £30 (past season) |
Black-T-shirt + sparkly skirt + evening bag + heels = drinks party
What she also finds useful, no brainer useful, is a T-shirt from Mint Velvet with a big fat star on the front that goes with everything, even a charity shop Zara sparkly skirt. Like many a WOACA, she loves sparkly, shiny gewgaws and gimcracks. Clothes that just beg to be sat on a high bar stool (Beryl has to take a run at these) sipping a Gin and It, but the planet does not share her joy. These clothes are covered in plastic beads or aluminium, so Jane and Beryl's solution is to purchase these second hand and re-wear them each Christmas, and yes, resist the purchase of the new. This Zara skirt cost £3.50, secondhand, but the T-shirt is new, practising what you preach is not that easy for a relapsing clothes-aholic.
What she also finds useful, no brainer useful, is a T-shirt from Mint Velvet with a big fat star on the front that goes with everything, even a charity shop Zara sparkly skirt. Like many a WOACA, she loves sparkly, shiny gewgaws and gimcracks. Clothes that just beg to be sat on a high bar stool (Beryl has to take a run at these) sipping a Gin and It, but the planet does not share her joy. These clothes are covered in plastic beads or aluminium, so Jane and Beryl's solution is to purchase these second hand and re-wear them each Christmas, and yes, resist the purchase of the new. This Zara skirt cost £3.50, secondhand, but the T-shirt is new, practising what you preach is not that easy for a relapsing clothes-aholic.
All pre-loved Fabienne Chapot silk blouse £60,
Ghost trousers £18, boots £5 charity shop
Leopard print silk shirt + red velvet trousers + gold boots = Boxing day brunch
Beryl is sure you have the measure of this by now. The leopard print silk blouse also goes with the black trousers, ex cetera, ex cetera, ex-cetera. Beryl refuses to limit the amount of accessories, as accessories are EVERYTHING DARLING, EVERYTHING! Jane knows better than to challenge her, when she is cornered like a rat with a look in her eye.
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| Last year's shiny M&S blouse with past season M&S trousers £45, gold charity shop belt £1, boots £5, bag gift |
Gold and black shirt + black velvet trousers + gold boots + gold bag + belt = Delivering Christmas presents to your relatives
PS. the only thing that really doesn't go is the sparkly skirt and leopard print blouse, not even Beryl thinks she can pull that one off.
1 x suit
1 x jumper
1 x velvet trousers
1 x shirt
1 x dress
1 x cardi
1 x coat
1 x skirt = 8 pieces
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| Suit, Zara, last season, approx. £180, jumper Monsoon via Oxfam £9.99, trainers, LK Bennett sale £87.50, necklace, £4, charity shop |
Jane has never got to grips with winter white - or even summer white come to that, as this suit has barely seen the light of day. She is determined to get some wear out of it and saw a very expensive version styled with a wooly pulley in a smart magazine, so thought she'd copy the look: Vogue, here we come...
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| Shirt, Zara, £25.99 last year, suit jacket, as before, boots, Jones, last season, £65, necklace as before |
Despite her intentions to buy NOTHING new this season, Jane has given in and is deeply ashamed. But not ashamed enough to take these trousers back, of course, as they are the star Christmas piece of kit for the WOACA. These can go with the jacket and a shirt to ring the proverbial changes. This year Christmas dressing is all about the wide velvet trouser.
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| Dress, £65, sale, cardigan £65, (Browns of Stockbridge boots) as before, necklace, charity shop 75p |
This is Jane's attempt at elegant in a Jean Muirish sort of way, all in navy jersey but in cotton so she doesn't get TOO HOT. The jacket could go with this and a pair of red boots go with simply everything.
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| Coat, Kesta, £40 charity shop, jumper, as before, skirt, Paul Costelloe vintage, necklace, gift, boots, as before |
+ red boots = Trip to see Disney on Ice
Here comes the charity shop jersey again with a skirt of some 20 years vintage which Jane has rediscovered and her new charity shop coat: shades of red are just heaven at this time of year, reflects Jane. You may be wondering why Jane has a telephone/lobster round her neck - look it up, is all she's prepared to say on the matter.
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| As before |
Despite Beryl's reluctance to engage with Jane's cunning Christmas capsule wardrobe, Beryl has to concede that it is working, and she, (like Jane) is emerging from the house feeling happy, co-ordinated and above all relaxed, which might just be a festive first.
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