Jane and Beryl have hardly bought a thing all summer and now that new season kit is filling the rails, they are chomping at the bit to get to the shops. They know that it's Second Hand September (more of that next week) and that it's not ok to get into a buying frenzy but they just need to fulfil the craving for their fashion fix. And so, in the interests of their readers, they go to find which idiosyncratic bits of fashion catches their eyes - with the proviso that only good quality items which will pass the test (at least 30 wears) will actually make it into their wardrobes...



Dress Whistles £169, trainers LK Bennett £175
Jane never wears green. It's a fact. And yet... the wonderful 'grass in spring' colour of this dress caught her eye and she was inexorably drawn to it like a moth to the flame. Still, not a good fit on her pasty-filled body so it's a 'no' to this one. 




However... these trainers are yummy and she may be back to buy when LK Bennett do their mid-season 30 per cent off thing.





Will Beryl really get 30 wears of this red dress in before she shuffles off this mortal coil? or more likely gets too fat. One, its silk so one misplaced egg vol au vent and it is all over. Two, even posh frock wearer that she is, she wonders how many red dress letter days there are looming in in her  calendar.  Even she knows that an item is never so seductive, so promising as when it is hanging in the shop. So she going to test her will and wait for the sale before she pounces. 

Dress Jigsaw £???

Jane was universally cooed over by the over enthusiastic assistants in another green offering, but she remains unconvinced: there is something of the land girl going to church about it which she is not keen on although she usually loves a bit of vintage style.



Beryl spied this shirt in Laura Ashley and thought it looked jolly and serviceable. (Beryl and Jane are not even mentioning the grisly tapered trousers) Sorry Beryl what was that?  Did the adjectives jolly and serviceable really just come out of your mouth? Beryl puts it back on the rail, the red frock is looking more attractive by the minute. And to cut down on use of plastic fabric, she will wear it with no knickers.

Dress, Mint Velvet, £69, jacket Mint Velvet, £119


This is more like it. Suddenly, Jane wants everything in red, red, RED. All other colours look dull and middle aged by comparison. This is a great bit of inter seasonal clobber and a good price too. Jane has the jacket in pink and it's a great (for which read comfortable and concealing) shape.



Dress Pyrus £295, coat £310, hat £55


You see? RED again. She can't leave it alone. And this is the one item of clothing on which she will allow a leopard spot: the fury coat (and hat). Red always looks fabulous with animal print, say Jane and Beryl.

Viona jean £79, Bailey Spot blouse £75 both Phase Eight 


Jane and Beryl check out Phase Eight, where they root out a very fine pair of wide leg jeans and a great multi-tasking blouse. Jane is suspicious of the top, saying it reminds her of a building society uniform. Beryl gives in, there is no arguing with her in this sort of mood. Beryl refuses the jeans on the grounds that she owns three pairs and jeans are the most water sucking things on the planet. Jane is impressed if slightly perturbed by this improbable turn of events. Where is my shopaholic friend and what have they done with her? she thinks. 


                                                         Jumper The White Company £149



Moving on to The White Company, Jane remembers that she spent last season lusting after a pale pink sweater, but as she refuses to spend big bucks on knitwear (it always pills), did not purchase anything. She wanted to check it out again this time round and did find another version, but found that this one merely emphasises her already sizeable bazungas. She will leave this for her less well endowed sisters...


Joules £99



M&S cashmere scarf £45

Beryl now turns her attention to accessories. These suede Bee embroidered shoes have our Beryl salivating. What's holding her back, the price dear reader, the price, these beauties were £99. Jane suggested sewing bee patches onto an existing pair, not a bad idea from her faithful sidekick.


Rootling around in the hectares of mustard polyester otherwise known as M&S Beryl found herself considering an orange cashmere scarf, but little else. So far she is showing remarkable restraint. This comes to an abrupt end when she spies a pair of Zebra striped boots in Mint Velvet.

Boots Mint Velt £139

Cue choirs of angels. These are just the sort of item that this WOACA loves. Something that makes her existing wardrobe look fashionable and are also comfortable. Thirty wears guaranteed, fashion hit bagged, time to go home for tea. 

Next Week: Jane and Beryl jump on board Second Hand September  

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