Anthropologie top £42, Trousers £30, Next pumps £18
It's high summer and Jane and Beryl are off to their happy place, otherwise known as Cornwall. Jane has forgotten her sage advice of last week, and ended up bringing four pairs of trousers and one pair of knickers. Beryl has a well packed suitcase of modish items, but as the days wear on  something unheard of occurs. Jane and Beryl find they couldn't really care less about fashion ... and shock, horror, start wearing old baggy clothes in which to combat heat and over-eating...   

Orange linen coat M&S £79 (this season)
 ancient Phase Eight jumpsuit, Benison pumps £34.

Vest Top Ghost, trousers Moutaki £62 sale,
kimono gift, bag £59 Hush
First up, our fashionistas are taking in the brilliant Patrick Heron paintings in The Tate, St Ives. A heated art argument breaks out. This could get ugly, so perhaps instead we should consider the efficacy of their outfits. Beryl obviously gets points for actually matching the art, and for the longevity of this dotty jumpsuit, which is at least ten years old and is still much worn. Jane, however, wins plaudits for contextual reference (art-speak abounds here) with her flower-strewn kimono, the work in question being called Red Garden Painting (1985).    

Next stop Jane and Beryl are found in the actual garden of Virginia Woolf's house in St Ives. Sadly, the house is not open to the public, but the gardener kindly allowed them a stroll in the grounds. Jane is wearing an ancient Ghost dress, which she keeps in the back of her wardrobe for just such dog days of summer. This set Jane and Beryl musing on the joy of wearing some really old and beloved kit on holiday, garments that they fling on without a care in the world.


This mood wavers somewhat when Jane's house guest Jenny makes a stunning appearance in a sale maxi dress from Top Shop bought for £34. All their fashion senses start tingling and their noses are decided out of joint. Jenny senses her moment of triumph and gets more like on Insta than anyone ever.

Trousers £40 Alice Collins, Top Antropologie £42, pumps Next £18

Jane hides behind The Guardian pretending that she doesn't care in red elasticated trousers and a blue top, while Beryl takes direct action and buys a white linen jumpsuit for £30, which she wears over her bikini as the armpits are a bit gapey.


By this stage in the game, Jane and Beryl have clearly embraced the Cornish vibe and Feral Beryl as she is now known, is sporting a charity shop Miss Selfridge frock which cost £8 to attend life drawing. Will our duo ever get their fashion mojo back, or is it elasticated trousers all the way from now on

Next week: Jane and Beryl travel to Deauville in search of some Chanel-style inspiration.

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