Jane and Beryl go Ab-Fab
Monday 30 April 2018
- Sweetie, are you going anywhere this week?
- Nah, NFI, darling, NFI.
- Let's dress up anyway, get a few shots, darling.
- Always up for that, sweetie, know what I mean.
Will there be Earl Grey?
- Only if you've invited him, darling. Old friend of yours? Is he tasty?
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| Jacket Massimo Dutti, 149 Euros, trousers Numph £60, vintage Hermes scarf £1.50 shoes £19.50 M&S, vintage bag £22, top £54 Rowlands |
- Nice drop of stuff, darling. Shame you couldn't keep it the right way up, sweetie. What a waste!
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| Jacket Mint Velvet £119, top Wallis £25, trousers vintage Linea, trainers E-Bay £17.99 |
Jane's just heard Harvey Nicks have a sale on.
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| Top charity shop £1.50, trousers Marella £149, trainers as before, dressing gown worn as a coat £5 vintage sale |
- Darling, what have I told you about wandering about in your pyjamas. People will think you have lost the plot.
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| Dress Gold and Silver £89, gold espadrilles £15 F&F |
- Darling, darling, what have you got on? Teeth and tits, darling, teeth and tits...
- Well sweetie-darling, I've got my teeth in and my tits out, of course. I was in the changing room at Harvey Nicks, trying on this sundress, when I saw the reflection of a lovely young woman staring back at me, so felt compelled to buy it. The only thing is that now I am not sure now it was me? Can I pull this off? Whadyou think, darling?
- Did you have your lenses in, darling? Bottle of fake tan and a week on bread and water might do it, sweetie...
(Jane's Mum - Just a week?)
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| Dress vintage Dashiki £120, trainers as before |
- That animal thing is still big, darling. Better get it on film.
- Don't they mean Big Game, sweetie? This is England, it's 8 degrees and it's started to rain.
- They'll never notice, sweetie-darling. Smile and wave darling, smile and wave, they'll never notice...
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| Swimsuit Gottex £119 |
- I'm going for the Bardot look, Jane, bit of top totty in the sun, sort of thing.
- More like old botty in the sun!
- 'Course, knew Bridge back in the day, darling. Remember that time we all knocked about together in St Trop...
- Don't keep on like that, Beryl, makes you sound older than the wreck of the Hesperus.
- Wreck of the what? Is something I can inhale, darling? Get me some if you're going out for more tea...
- Found a very obliging young gardener in the hedge, darling, y'know what I mean, sweetie. He can plant my begonias any day of the week.
- Mellors?
- Yours, mine, everybody's...
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| Dress (second hand £120) Rixo, hat vintage Patricia Underwood shoes Jasper Conran £59 |
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| Trousers Halluber £79, top Hush £49 (this season) gold Sandals Miss GK, Vintage 1980s Paul Costelloe jacket |
-This reminds me of the time I woke up under Mick!
Next Week:
Jane and Beryl consider the trouble with trousers
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