Lavender we are told is the new pink, but will it suit the WOACA? Jane and Beryl go shopping on the high street, and spend the whole time squabbling about what is or isn't lavender: is this mauve, is this lilac? Jane becomes very pedantic, and starts muttering about the colour wheel. Beryl goes completely off piste and claims all pink items are lavender, and a few blue ones too.

Jumper Oska £140, velour trousers Oska £150,
plimsoles Moda Pelle £89


Jane fell for this mauve/lavender/lilac jumper in Oska which is not a shop or a colour she usually would give house room to: she glimpsed it from the door and was lured in. Part of her issue with this shop is the nature of its pricing i.e.. too much. However, the allure of this item is the intensity of its colour which is what she assumes justifies the price. It is also a shape which she has learned suits her. Bought in the autumn, who knew it would be this season's top colour? 







However.... Jane then went to her wardrobe to find other purple items, and found mainly horrors. It all depends on the exact shade not to mention the cut. This so-called lavender can so easily tip over into the horror of heather which is little old lady territory.  Jane and Beryl have a sneaky feeling that the Edinburgh Woollen Mill will be full of it. 

Cardigan Pure £99
Jumper Pure £88 in the sale






Still in Jumperland, otherwise known as the concessions floor of John Lewis, Jane and Beryl are having a tough time finding anything actually lavender. Then Beryl's gaze lights upon this cardi from Pure but - shock, horror - she discovers the terrible truth that she looks frankly vile in the colour. The word golem* keeps popping into her mind. Much better in the purple, phew!

* golem: a clay figure brought to life by magic

Jumper Mint Velvet £69

Still wading through the sweaters, Jane is attracted to Mint Velvet, (although she should know better as her last jumper purchase pilled into armpit tumbleweeds) and although this one felt supersoft, the whole effect is not attractive. See that extra roll sitting comfortably around her middle? It took four weeks of over eating to get to fill this jumper so effectively. Colourwise, it's neither Arthur nor Martha and is tinged with grey, never good on our Jane.


Goat dress, bought second hand £150, Jacket Precis £145,
Shoes Jasper Conran £59



Beryl is lurking by the dead lavender bush, in an effort to convince Jane that this dress contains that hue. She has decided that the only way she can pull it off, is if it's a subtle component of something that quite frankly is a much nicer colour. Here she is wearing this Goat dress to Jane's mummy's 90th birthday party. Jane's mother spied the lavender bush and immediately berated the gardening staff for not having cut it back, shocking. 


Jacket LK Bennett £25, skirt Monsoon £12, shoes LK Bennett £25 all pre-loved
Having moved swiftly on from lavender to purple which Beryl prefers, she has fished about in the back of the wardrobe for some pre-loved and much loved items.



She also found this vintage jacket which cost a full tenner and is actually lavender. Her daughter caught sight, and called it 'minging,' Beryl feels she might be right. 

Trousers East £59, shirt vintage find £60

'When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me' 

Beryl loves velvet and thinks it is possibly at its best when combined with purple, which she does not find ageing at all. The purple velvet in question here is the trousers, which are beautifully cut, from the East sale. The vintage shirt was made in Italy in the 1960s. 


Boots Mode Pelle £119


Amanda Wakeley dress £400 from Moda Rosa circa 1999
Jane joins Beryl in the land of purple, and suddenly remembers this Amanda Wakeley dress from her dim and distant red carpet days (she bought this to grace the premier of a James Bond film, but alas, the charming event got cancelled). She doesn't recall it being as lovely as this, and joy, oh, joy unbridled, she can still get in it, and it's in velvet, the stuff of the season.

White Stuff dress about £60 in sale, shoes as above
This is surprise buy from White Stuff of last year. It is marvellous for fat days, because the pattern confuses the eye, or just confuses. Jane has spotted a fanny sporran lurking in the fabric, and perhaps two leaves as nipple shields. Well, you can take the lassie out of the highlands... 


Coming next week: Jane in the Caribbean and Beryl in Budapest...








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