Jane and Beryl have Had Enough and are quitting these shores for a bit of R&R - or are they? Jane seeks the sun - but not really as she never sits in it - while Beryl gets cultural on a city break. Jane and Beryl's mission, should they choose to accept it, is the hunt for the perfectly packed suitcase...Do they find it? Doubtful...but read on...

Jane, aka agent WOACA, is heading for the Caribbean where the sun always shines...doesn’t it? It’s a balmy 28 degrees, and Jane is planning on doing nothing more active than lifting her glass, so is doing her utmost - yet again - to travel light. She has watched all the episodes of Death in Paradise, so thinks that she knows the drill. She bravely packs:

one swimsuit
two pairs of shoes
four tee shirts
two pairs of trousers 
four dresses, one kimono
two vest tops

She adds a cashmere cardi, socks, cosy pashmina and a thin mac for the flight as she often gets cold with all that AC and it’s pouring when she leaves the house. Glory be, there is still room in her suitcase. She resists the urge to fill it and snaps it smartly shut. So far, so good.

Ghost dress £128
Jane peruses the joint wearing yet another of her many Ghost dresses: they pack so well, why wouldn't she? The only shop on site sells very expensive beachwear and there is nothing new so she bypasses it and heads into town for some sightseeing.

Hat Helena Kaminski £120, t shirt Zara Paris 12 Euros, trousers Ghost £28 in the sale

Jane's holiday mission always includes some sightseeing, so here she is battling with the largely American cruising folk on one of the island's highest points (there are no suspects for fashion victims to be found here). But quelle dommage! She omits to realise that her floppy tee has wrapped itself around her large mince pie stomach in the high winds - a definite crime has been committed here. 

T shirt £56 Hush, Penzance, plimsoles Next £12
T shirt Zara £26, bag Vinegar Hill £29, trousers East via charity shop

Jane's tee shirt selection has by and large seen her through! With obvious exceptions, a capacious tee especially if A line in shape, will disguise a multitude of sins.

Top Wallis £25, trousers H&M £12, kimono Zara £29.99,
shoes Hermes

In order to lurk among the palms while blending in, Jane has gone for the mysterious lady in black approach - topped off with some Caribbean colour in her invaluable kimono. She remains cool and collected while eavesdropping on the rest of the diners...

But did she manage to solve the Mystery of what to pack? Jane is confident that she can report back in the affirmative: the only thing she wished she's packed was an extra swimsuit. Mission accomplished.

Vintage Astraka coat £25 charity shop, boots Dubarry £300
Meanwhile Beryl is off to Budapest where there is an icing sugar dusting of snow and the temperature is minus three. This 1960s Astraka faux fur coat is eccentric even by Beryl's standards, and it is causing something of a stir. The Hungarian population have clearly seen nothing like it since the end of the Cold War, but Beryl doesn't care as she is toasty, even her feet are warm due to the wonders of Gortex. She thinks maybe however, that she has blown her cover...  

Faux fur hat  £35 Suzie P Accessories

Miracle Suit £175

A rendevoux has been arranged at the Gellert Baths. Beryl wears her floral ruched Miracle Suit as she enters the sulphuric pools. Oh no... all the other swimmers are gesticulating madly and crossly at her head... apparently it is not permitted to swim without a bathing cap. She buys an unattractive rubber item from the kiosk. If only she had known, she really wants one covered in daisies. 

An elderly gentleman approaches her for a chat, is this the drop? she places the micro-fish under her swimming cap. He tells her, she can take off the swimming cap now, or at least that's what she thinks he said. 

Beryl has packed:

Whistles lace blouse £150, Black DL Jeans £180
one swim suit
one black skirt suit
one velvet trouser suit 
two shirts 
one jumper 
one cardigan
one pair of black jeans
one pair of navy trousers 
an extra pair of purple boots
a pair of black court shoes 
an evening bag
 and an orange fake fur stole...in other words way, way, way too much for three days. 

That night, back on her mission, she tails a suspicious looking man into the bar of the Hotel Intercontinental, who turns out to be her husband as usual. Nothing for it then, but to down a Sidecar or two, and contemplate her next assignment. 

Next week: What's YOUR fashion character?

1 comment

  1. Had to smile darling Beryl.When I went to Budapest I wore exactly the same & even had similar bathing hat issue.Nige refused to wear his.x





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