Letter to Santa

Letter to Santa

Monday 28 November 2016

                             Letter to Santa: 
            Jane and Beryl's Christmas fashion wish list

Darling Santa,
We know you are awfully busy with the real and deserving children, and that two (lets face it) very silly middled-aged women have no right to expect anything from your sack. That being said, Beryl and Jane have been both naughty and nice, and therefore feel they should be allowed everything on their wish list, even if they do have to buy it themselves and pound the streets to find it. So please dear Santa, may Jane have a jumpsuit, that will make her feel and look gorgeous and fit her freakishly long body, and black suede ballet pumps which cover her dancing bunions. Meanwhile, may Beryl have a frothy white shirt, that elongates her tortoise-like neck and a pink fluffy hat that detracts from her wrinkles.

Faux fur hat £39 Ted Baker, broach not included. 

Sadly, (small reality check) all this proved more difficult than they first thought: how hard can it be to find the items which the fashion editors would have us believe are the must haves of the season?  Where are the frilly shirts, velvet trousers, brocade suits, maxi-dresses and embroidered boots that they were promised?  Not in Southampton, a month before Christmas, that's for sure. However, what they did find which lit their Christmas candle, was a very fine Lurex jumpsuit and top from Julian Macdonald, a bargainous shiny shirt from Zara, and the perfect party slipper.

What a lovely find these boots are, shame they were in Jane's size when it was Beryl who really, really wanted them. Jane bought them anyway as she couldn't resist their charms for £42 from Top Shop. Thanks, Santa, guess who Jane will be kissing under the mistletoe?

Jane sneezed herself into this Julien MacDonald jumpsuit in the Debenham's changing room and was very surprised to find herself loving' it! Who'd've thought that a 55 year old could pull off top to toe lurex?! And it was a joyous 20 per cent off so it came in at £52.

You sweet old man, thank you for having delivered this wish list red dress nice and early so that Beryl can get the best out of it for the party season. Beryl's doing the full Elf On a Shelf here, as a thank you for this £120 Ellie Tahari frock. Both Jane and Beryl were transfixed by the cherry red colour, the satin fabric, and the 1950's neckline, Mrs Christmas should have one of these as no-doubt she is a WOACA (woman of a certain age).

Spurred on by the jumpsuit success, Jane then bought this top for those moments when too much lurex is not a good thing. She made Beryl buy one too, as they were such good fun for the party season at £29, again from Julien MacDonald at Debenhams.

This bag came Jane's way via the adorable TKMaxx. It's a Kate Spade and Jane is totally in love with the glorious pink. This store is often full to bursting with great designer bags at very good prices but  a certain amount of persistence is necessary and a 'see it, buy it' philosophy especially at this time of year. 

High on Beryl's wish list for some time has been the brocade trouser. Jane has been rocking a great Zara pair from last year, but alas Santa, these Warehouse jacquard trousers £45, were the only pair they found, and were just not very interesting. The blouse from Damsel in A Dress, had the requisite frill, but also failed to thrill our shoppers, and seemed expensive at £89. Has our Beryl had a full frontal lobotomy and turned into a dressing dullard we ask?

                                                                                             

Perhaps not, she was saved by this £12, Zara satin shirt which will be appearing at many a Christmas gathering probably with egg-nog down the front. Embroidered jeans were also a wish list item, Beryl found these corkers a couple of weeks ago in Top Shop for £59. They have frayed hems, which though

all the rage, make Beryl feel a little unpolished. The  sewing machine may have to come out this weekend. The gold boots were bought several years ago in Madrid, and are a staple of Beryl's festive footwear collection, Zara have a similar pair for £70.

 

One of the items Jane has longed for is a cocktail jumper, a fine knit top, not black, for those party moments which just may require a bit more coverage. Can she find one? Can she heck! This was the best of the bunch argh !Almost doable when posing but hideous if she dares to sit down! From Finery, this Whitby Ripple Jumper is £45.

These are Beryl's naughty Black Friday boots. Beryl justifies

the buying of L.K Bennett footwear on the grounds that she has arthritis in her feet, and these are the ones which she finds

the most comfortable. She has been dreaming of red boots

like Barbie dreams of Ken, and like Ken the reality has largely been a cheap and tawdry affair, he's just so plastic. The LK Bennett ones however are the most divine shade of claret. Barbie apparently is all grown up and elegant and has bought a house in the Hamptons (without Ken, of course).

Here at last, are the shoes Jane has dreamed of! They may look like a pair of pedestrian black suede ballet flats to you, but to Jane, they are the holy grail! Jane has always had problem with her mismatched pair of feet with a two size difference, which means that certain shoes are just off limits, ballerina pumps included, but of late this is compounded by the Bunion Issue.
 However, Christmas joy unbounded,
this pair come from Zara and fit the bill on many fronts: they are cut high to encompass said emerging bunion and are elasticated to cater for size differential. Amazingly comfortable too, what more could this pantomime Cinderella want? 

Jane loves clothes with a certain insouciance about them and this velvet tee is a winner except... the shocking price (or was Santa having a stingy moment?). It's a whopping £145 from Toast and right at this moment while Santa's fashion sack may be full to bursting, Jane's purse is empty, so it won't be coming home with her tonight.